#funny how talking works sometimes
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umm i guess im treating this like an au now ahah
pmd2 darkrai hasn't had time to figure out wtf is going on (he's been here for like an hour tops). he's lost his composure immediately lol
#this is stupid hgsdjgs#cresselia is a PAIN to draw btw#too many smooth shapes aaaa#anyway. i like to think the pmd series is its own universe with only one darkrai and cresselia there. and they hate each other's guts#so pmd2 darkrai got chucked into a different universe. where that darkrai and cresselia are more chill w each other#(which seems to be the case in the games and anime.. sometimes?)#pmd2 darkrai is BAFFLED that they aren't mortal enemies here lol he's so expecting to get beat up all over again#he would be running away so fast if he weren't being dragged by the hair hgfhdsfkjg#i didnt put much thought into how this would even work i just thought it was funny and ran with it LOL#pmd2 darkrai probably woke up saw another him and went 'ah yes i must be in the past now there's two of me to work together'#talking like 'haha this is perfect let us combine our might to plunge this world into darkness' or some shit#and the other darkrai just. stares. says to themself 'yeah im too tired for this shit im taking this weirdo to cresselia' LOL#pokemon#darkrai#pmd darkrai#cresselia#two darkrais au#pmd au#anirritant art
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I think Niko should come back from her trip to the snowy spirit realm or wherever she is with the ability to turn into a polar bear because of the bear luck charm (And then she helps Tragic Mick turn into a walrus again because you never know when the good you do comes around)
But mostly I just think it would be very good for everyone to get into trouble and Niko to be dressed in her amazing adorable outfits and underestimated by everybody and then suddenly there's a fuck off big giant bear there instead
#dead boy detectives#I don't actually think the show will do this#I just think it would be kind of funny but also kind of great#It would tie into Mick's story of shape changing! And Mick gave her the charm! Sedna!#But also POLAR BEAR HERE TO HELP SOLVE YOUR SPOOKY PROBLEM#They could have polar bear cuddle piles!#She could carry them all!#...I'm talking myself into this now#Niko the world's most gentle polar bear#Sometimes she gets stuck because she's still working out the shape changing#And then they're all like “...shit how do we hide a polar bear in the centre of London”#“This is.... my dog” Crystal says desperately and unconvincingly because you cannot hide a polar bear as a dog
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Zero Day (2002)
#movies film cinema#zero day#ben coccio#I actually talked to the director on Facebook super nice guy and he told#me a lot about the filmmaking process and even helped me with tips on directing non-actors and new actors#I remember him telling me to always be supportive and tell your new actors they're doing a good job even if they aren't in the first take#cause you can instill confidence and still reshape and change their choices and mistakes later#Sometimes I'd message him for advice when I was running into problems on some of my early projects#he told me once ''did ya choose to collaborate with this actor cause you were lonely or you guys had passion and chemistry''#“collaborating is like a relationship” and he was so right#there's nothing worse than working with people you disdain cause there's no communication and no trust.#he told me how he wrote the first couple of drafts of Place Beyond the Pines but his take on the 3rd act wasn't clicking for the director#so he took the script and went and had another writer rewrite the 3rd act but he liked the process cause he learned a lot and still got pai#but I'd still like to see Ben Coccio's take on Place Beyond The Pines he says the 1st and 2nd act are mostly unchanged#Ryan Gosling's scenes are still mostly the same he said but he couldn't tell me too much cause of the NDA he signed#The bloopers of Zero Day are hilarious his tip he gave me about being supportive#“This is actually great but can we-” and Cal interrupts him “He says that no matter what if you're doing good or bad!” and everyone lols#I hope I can make it and ask him to collab with me on a script#He's such a nice dude compared to the harrowing film he made.#I wish there was BTS but he had only one tape to film on and this was made when digital camcorders were infants#I think he had only one 2 hour tape that's how low budget#The bloopers is just Cal or Andre secretly filming and Ben getting annoyed “Is it recording?” and Cal going “Nah..."#Cal is such a funny guy IRL I wanna see him act more cause he's so good. He was so great at playing a sadistic psychopath in this.#the final shooting is so harrowing and disturbing#I told Ben he srsly gut punched me/disturbed me and this is what made him really open up.
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#I'm sorry I'm behind on asks I feel like it never fucking ends#can't talk to family about it. they worry too much. cant talk to friends about it. they just start giving unwarranted (well meaning) advice#and plus they basically live with me atp with how often they're over helping me fuck do I do?? bother them more??#dude it's embaressing even if it's not chronic shit it's just unlucky shit like how u gonna have an allergic reaction & then seizure same d#idk about therapy therapists scare me. it's not a therapy issue though I'm just tired and in pain all the fucking time#one more person says “same omg” or “well have you tried-” i will start cutting peoples throat and eating their livers#you do NOT know what it's like having to write your own will before 30 like this shit aint right shit aint fair#makes me petty and shit too people who are healthy like can you just fucking suffer why do you get that freedom but not me#it just never ends#like I really fucking hate it when people say “oh you have so much to live for” because no I don't#Not so sound like a right winger gosh dang god fearer but like deadass people focus so heavily on “mental health!!” they don't#realize even if you feel better and get therapy or shit that's not gonna be realistically helpful for anything physical going on in sm#it's a cycle even if you manage 1 thing - the medications cause a 2nd thing#and that's alongside all the OTHER things you take medications for which cause all those other things#it's like multiplying and makes your body slowly deplete but like never quite die. like I know realistically I can just die anyday#and yeah it is getting worse but it's no different because it's not about that#when you're sick it's not just “OMG DYING!!!” it's like. everything else in your life dies.#you can't cook for yourself. you can't clean. you can't move. you can't hang out with people anymore. you can barely work LMFAO.#I'm REALLY close to quitting it's not even funny lmao. cant put clothes on without struggling.#do people not know it's. physically impossible. to even eat sometimes. just vomit it all up or seize.#yeah it does make me petty#rant
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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The best detail in any bsd light novel ever is when Atsushi scared Dazai in 55 minutes
#bsd#atsushi nakajima#nakajima atsushi#Atsushi’s an jerk sometimes I wish people talked about it more (but he felt guilty immediately that was funny)#55 minutes#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#I don’t know how tumblr works please help
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suggestion do you have... any wants? like obviously you do but like? suggestion my guy my ourple boy. both the easiest and hardest to write. you need a skill to say something to move conversation along but it doesn't fit any skill in particular? about 80% of the time you can have suggestion say it and it will make sense. but like actually characterizing him... how do i define you dude... what makes your character tick... urgh. i dont get you yet. im trying to understand but you are difficult.
#chemi chats#there are some skills that i just dont understand yet and that just means i have to work on their character study chapter#im reading his bio and i think suggestion is a good manipulator and it's instinctive and he tries not to feel bad about it?#he's clever!! charming!! friends with savvy and drama. planting seeds in the mind and coaxing them to grow towards him like he's the sun.#a crude oil reservoir lying beneath a carefully laid flower bed. taps into the roots. the plants don't know any better than to drink.#he's great at sensing what makes people tick and uses that to his advantage. he needs goals to look forward to so he knows how to best#pull the strings to get them there. otherwise he's a bit aimless. he likes being useful. and since influencing others is helpful#he just keeps doing it? because it's what he's good at. and he tries to convince himself its fun and cool and just cuz hes charming and#it's his role as a skill and manipulation isnt thaaaat bad because it's helpful to them after all... but he does feel bad sometimes.#oh im listening to his voice lines and i just got to ''brother you should have put me in front of a firing squad'' and im sad about him now#but what do you want for short term little guy?? probably for people to like him. he likes chatting with people. i bet he'd like genuine#conversations with no strings attached but there's always some part of him filing information and tidbits away that he can't turn off#subconsciously figuring out things he can hold over them or how he can nudge them into thinking someth-/wait.../ no. no he's just talking.#he's /supposed/ to just be talking stop analyzing them stop falling back into that just have a normal conversation!! but he can't help it..#hm. this is all really helpful for his chapter. he and empathy are very alike but also different. very interesting...#task: swept up#okay good talk everyone i think i understand him a little better now lmao?? still gotta figure him out some more hes not fully there but ye#also i think he goes by whatever pronoun you think he'd use. just ''oh what do /you/ think i am hm?? what /would/ i use; do you think?? :)'#funny fella. i love you.
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actual conversation i had with my dental hygienist
hygienist: so what did you study at university?
me: chemistry...
hygienist: damn, no wonder you look so sad!
#this is especially funny now that i got a new job and it has like... barely anything to do with my degree LMAOOOO#mostly bc the job market is rough rn and i kinda need the money more than anything... but damn LOL#and then he proceeded to give me a speech about his own road to becoming a hygienist#how he started in business but then hated it so he started dj-ing#then found that he got bored of it and so he went to med school. but found that too much of a hassle as well#so now hes in dental school and working as a hygienist as he completes his schooling and is NOW debating on changing careers again#and like noah fence to the guy i know he was trying to be encouraging about how 'ur degree shouldnt shackle u to one type of career'#but also his carefree nature is sending alarm bells in my head bc the only ppl who speak like that are people who can Afford#to soul search like that. bc if i knew my parents are there to catch me if my new venture failed#damn i'd do fucking whatever i wanted to as well!! but ofc idk if hes really rich like that#he did have an aura tho. rich people aura. they got a way of talking sometimes... especially western ppl....#ANYWAY.... just wanted to share how i got scalped with my mouth wide open filled with blood thank u for listening to my ted talk#zee talks
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I hate when I’ll be complaining about some stupid bullshit a coworker does to other coworkers and half the time their response is to lower their voice and go “well…. You know…. I’m pretty sure they’re… on the spectrum, you know?” And every time I have a split second when I have to consider saying “you know I’m autistic, right?” just to make them vaguely uncomfortable for a few minutes and actually think about what they’re implying but of course I do not do that because the gratification is not worth a large sect of shitty coworkers knowing that about me and then talking about me like that every time I do something vaguely annoying or dumb but man…. It does get tempting sometimes
#like idk!!! sometimes the coworkers in question DO display some common autistic traits#but that is NEVER what is being complained about (at least not by me) so WHY are we bringing it up like that el oh el#like when I say ‘yeah I don’t like this coworker because of the shitty fucking things she did to my friend’#the response should not be ‘well I think she’s autistic isn’t that so funny she’s so obsessive about stuffed animals it’s annoying’#shut up shut up SHUT UP AND DIE#I don’t CARE that they talk too loud I don’t CARE that they’re bad a social cues I don’t CARE that they do ‘weird things’#and it’s so. HFDJSJKSKSKS AAAGGHHHHH#whether they’re autistic or not MAYBE that’s not what should be getting brought up during a conversation like that when it has NOTHING to do#with it#also maybe we shouldn’t be doing shit like whispering ‘on the spectrum’ like its some awful terrible thing#just thoughts idk#and the thing is too is that even if I told these ppl I was autistic#they would 100% be the types that are like ‘oh? but you don’t ACT autistic I don’t think you are’#like actually I got very good at masking for these reasons thnx#also you think autism = Sheldon from the Big Bang theory and nothing else#but I already learned my lesson cuz I told a coworker that I wasn’t sure about exactly twice#one of them went ‘oh THATS why you’re so dumb and don’t realize when other ppl don’t like you and take advantage of you’#and then the other one went on a mansplaining spiel about how me being autistic was why adhd meds didnt work on me??????#so yeah. never doing that again. haha. hahahaha. hahahaha……#this actually happened a few days ago but it’s been Bothering me so much#I hate my fucking job….#kaz rambles
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me, hyped up about Star Trek Enterprise again after finishing my beloved season 3: I wonder if there are any posts about it on tumblr *searches*
me, twenty minutes later, closing the results: ah. I see. it has suffered from fandomification, where fans threw out canon and replaced it with fanon. one hundred and thirty seven polls asking "what was your first/favorite star trek" and it is at the bottom of every one. this between 14million other posts about every other star trek series. some funny memes thrown in for ~flavor~. great. wonderful. I'll just go back into my happy little corner with my parents who unironically enjoy the show with me then.
#star trek enterprise#I don't know what I expected#I mean I didn't really expect anything I was shocked and excited to see posts... at first#now I'm just sorry I asked#for the purpose of answering every poll I came across: star trek enterprise WAS my first exposure to star trek#and yeah it imprinted on me a little#I was definitely in a space era after watching battlestar galactica (1978)#and I loved it#I still unironically love it#not a single post I saw talked about how amazing season 3 is I must fix that#if I have to see one more post talking about how captain archer is an idiot I will go insane#people can be smart and intuitive and still make stupid decisions sometimes without being 'himbos' internet#the man managed to befriend at least 47 different species of alien INCLUDING establishing an alliance#with the aliens who wanted to DESTROY EARTH#Idk maybe I'm just relating to the show on a subconscious level now#because I'm an adult who has been thrown into situations over her head and been forced to use intuition#because no one trained me or guided me#AND THAT'S LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT OF STAR TREK ENTERPRISE#IT'S HUMANITY'S FIRST TIME IN SPACE AND THEY HAVE HAD NO TRAINING#OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA MAKE MISTAKES#'star trek enterprise is funny and stupid uwu' THEY HAD TO STOP THE XINDI DEATH STAR SHUT UP#THEY SURVIVED THE EXPANSE THAT THE *KLINGONS* WERE AFRAID OF#HHHHHHHHHHHH#ugggggggh okay I'm getting worked up I should stop
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I say this with the deepest sense of hatred imaginable, fuck this article
#‘read more’ no I don’t think I will#hey google why was this a recommended article. wanna tell me why that is. wanna tell me why you thought I’d like this shit#there’s a difference between an opinion piece and literal ableism lmao fuck you man#this especially hits a nerve for me because I was a quote unquote snobby kid who was really just autistic#yeah hate to break it to you but I wasn’t locking myself in my room everyday and destroying things and screaming because I was bored#it was because I had debilitating anxiety and sensory overload that I didn’t understand or know how to deal with#pretty funny how the ‘snobby’ behavior stopped almost the second I got on meds and learned coping skills. huh. interesting#actually fuck this by the way this makes me so angry I can’t even verbalize it#yes there are kids who are just Being Kids. but ever stop to consider that maybe they’re going through something they can’t verbalize#saying that autistic behaviors are bratty is So fucking damaging. ppl will internalize it and turn that stress towards themselves#meltdowns that would’ve otherwise been outward get internalized and start self destructive behavior#my fucking source? points at myself#and using the term ‘functioning’ also pisses me the hell off#yeah I’m ‘high functioning’ until I’m Not and I can’t talk or move#also Nobody is just handing out autism diagnoses left and right to random kids who are defiant sometimes#my brother in Christ I would like to see a source for that. where’s the proof that this is happening other than rising autism rates#fuck you fuck you and most importantly actually just plain fuck you#I’ve been treated like shit by total strangers because I have selective mutism. that shit is traumatic#I wasn’t fucking Misbehaving when an old fuck starting publically yelling at me and berating me because I didn’t say hi back to him#I wasnt being ‘defiant’ when I could barely leave my fucking room for weeks afterwards and had panic attacks every fucking day#why the fuck would anyone let this article be published#tw ableism#so sorry for not being ladylike! it’s not the Victorian era you dipshit! I’m not trying to be rude I am autistic#but apparently autism doesn’t work like that so oh ok I guess I’m just a bad person. thanks for confirming my suspicions
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holy shit for the first time in ten years i forgot nicks birthday
#and ironically it was my friends video talking about march that clued me in#like fuck march passed and i didn't even notice it.... feels weird. very. weird.#jrnlsht#yikes he turned 40 this year#oh that makes me feel old lmao that makes me feel so old#i thought i had everything figured out when i was 25...of the two of us i was the one with the stable job that i loved#making art all day... and then staying up till 4am making art with nick#and like sadly literally not euphemistically#although those after hours set painting sessions did include some making out#he was such a mess back then#now we've swapped im the mess and he's the one with the stable job he loves#funny how life works out#i remember his 30th vividly his sister bought him this ridiculous bunch of balloons#which of course he hated#and he was forcing a smile cause he was trying to play nice and act like his life wasnt a total mess#and i just sat there giggling at him in his sisters kitchen with the balloons cause i could tell he was faking it#anyway it was fine i made it up to him with a much better present later that evening when we were alone :P#i dont think either of us ever imagined being this old#i certainly didnt#i remember the last time i touched his face a few years ago#it was the first time i realized that - oh- i could love wrinkles#bald with lines around his smile... it was still his face :)#but forgetting is a good thing#sometimes i need to let memories go and move on
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HONESTLY. i agree with prev anon minedai community rlly feels like it’s own separate thing a lot of the time i get so shocked when people who aren’t mainly minedai posters acknowledge it LMFAO it’s pretty rare. we’re kind of in our own stuck in yakuza 3 bubble if that makes sense while everyone’s moving on with the newer games
real tbh. i get jumpscared when people mention it outta no where like how did you know this existed..... can i help you... its like when you lift up a rock and theres a bunch of bugs underneath
#snap chats#like recently that one artist featured daigo and mine in a comic of theirs and i had to blink twice#like oh my god thats right they dont just exist in mine and five other people's heads thats fucked up#WELCOMED but woah ..#its just funnier to follow the games through daigo tbh. thats my fave things about these games#just wondering wtf daigos up to since he's- ironically- the Straightest man in that he's so . Guy.#like he's Just A Guy amongst these people and i love him so much and i like how he looks concerned 90% of the time#yes he's the chairman of the tojo but it's also really easy to imagine him working at like. a printer company. or a library#whenever chairman daigo takes his shirt off i get jumpscared cause its like Oh Right He Does Fight Sometimes#i love his fight style cause its so fucking. he really just swinging who give a fuck his strength is shooting people not this#he can still kick ass Allegedly tho i wont discredit wtf the game told me but still its funny how rough his style is. i love him#the fuck am i waffling on about. idk we're talking about the stanley prison experiment for the ninety millionth time in my academic career
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Being a villain isn’t all fun and games! Just mostly (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Charm compilation <3 It's been a while!#Especially so for some of these - like the first ones!#Some of my very earliest Charm doodles were set to ''Ready as I'll ever be''#A lot happier the first time around admittedly haha ♪ Or more confident and proud and feeling justified perhaps#Charm's villainy has gotten a lot more angsty which is very funny on her cute face hehe <3#She'll cut loose again once she fully gives into it - if you're gonna be evil you might as well make it fun! She'll get there#Yet another WOY style TVAU Charm - I'm gonna get an outfit one of these days I swear!#I've been working on a design breakdown of classic Charm lately actually she's just - agh how did I do it first try??#Accidentally excellent design with lots of stops and places for the eye to rest and a good mix of 3D details and 2D ''textures''#She was designed with the 3D-looks-2D style in mind initially - I have to get back into that mental space somehow agh#Another style that every time I see it out in the wild I'm like ''Oh Charm would look perfect'' lol - y'know the Little People toy line?#Soft plastic with cute chibi proportions! I did talk about the designs as cute palm-sized toys way early on as well haha#Just so fun to imagine holding her like an ice cream cone pfft#Candle ♥ I sometimes forget that candlemaking for Charm is what drawing is for me lol - expression! Delight!#She makes candles based on her interests :D#This one just so happens to be green with red accents - and look the red wick is back! Probably could've gone with a pink one for tongue but#It's fine ♪ A different candle perhaps! Hehe <3#Do aliens exist in the JD universe? I mean it's me so probably but hmmm#Taffyyyy <3 Sweetest sheep best little lad <3#So relaxing to hug ♥#That last one feels so oddly on-model?? Or on-vibe??? I dunno I'm just terribly happy with it hehe#Charm being cute and posed just a little strange in a natural way :D I like it very much!
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people who think mouthwashing is about rape clearly haven't played how fish is made/the last one and then another
#scary crane rambles#dental hygiene videogame tag#just watched a back to back playthrough and. wowie zowie#its a good time all around but man it provides some much needed context to the themes that wrong organ works with#both how fish is made and its dlc seem to be very much about capitalism#like. the base game being about having discussions with people about things that heavily resemble choosing a career#and the general illusion of choice that leads to basically the same outcome either way you go#there's so many specific things i wanna talk about regarding this game.. might do an analysis post sometime soon :3#but anyways also the dlc ''the last one and then another'' is literally about absorbing other people to be ''bigger''#which seems to me like a metaphor for using other people to gain more success in life; specifically in terms of career#and all of these people seem vulnerable in some way so theres that too#AND BEFORE ANYONE BRINGS UP THAT ONE SCENE WITH THE STRING. BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING#i think thats about how lots of people who work and have kids struggle with taking care of their kid#because they have to work to support the kid but in turn they dont have the time to actually take care of the kid#and so in a metaphorical sense work sort of eats your kid. in the sense that it eats up the time you could take to care for them#just. god i have so much to say#but tldr its just more points in my theory's favor i think LMAO#tldr pleeeease check out how fish is made. its sooooo cool and awesome#theres even a funny musical number!!!!!!!!
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ok im a really chill and normal person and i get over things and am well adjusted but take a walk with me here. just give me my time to complain when im not in the absolute fucking trenches. and yes i believe i suffered more than those in trench warfare. it was literally a lesbian situationship with a bistraight girl come on. just. magenta choppy shag with the roots coming in. camo cargo pants black t shirt with red lettering and striped long sleeve (sign someone likes music. confirmed). lip ring big black stud earrings and nails. red docs. i think lesbians should be allowed to kill one dyke baiter in their lifetime idc
#and now we're gonna get into some quiet parts and youre just gonna let me have this#i. am so sick. first of all it was kinda funny how people ik ended up sorta surrounding her. felt good. but like we've shared a space#together since everything. i can like be in her presence it's seriously fine. that said. i do sometimes miss her#i say this after going through the really hating her guts period bc of her evil evil evil ways. and feeling like she's lame as hell bc she#s. but i mean it's me talking i have my problems too. i Hate the way we always so naturally act in sync. and i hate that we've both picked#each others' brains for hours so it's like. i knew you once and now we can't even look each other in the eye and that just really sucks#and i feel like. not that i strictly believe in these things. but we were sort of twin flames. i largely suffered for like. basically#falling in love w her. and i know i didn't leave as much of a mark. but i still hope it sucked a little for her#and i'll admit i think it'd be some sort of miracle if we could ever talk civilly. unfortunately we work in two ways#literally behaving in Ways and borderline fucking or not speaking. so. here we are#and i already humiliatingly tried to extend an olive branch this summer so im not gonna be fucking stupid. yk#but GOD how annoying. i did talk to situationship today and we were relatively normal so at least that's not deathly awkward#it's still. definitely um. stiff. but not terrible#i need to get to the club. pretend theres a cig emoji im on desktop rn#sorry for this.#film girl saga
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